Log in

17 March 2012 @ 10:31 am
Trap of Infatuation [Tetsuya/Ayana x 30 Kisses]  
Title: Trap of Infatuation
Fandom: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Pairing: Tetsuya/Ayana
Prompt: 30 Kisses #2: letter
Rating: PG.
Words: 1568
Summary: Tetsuya becomes rather upset when he finds himself quite infatuated with one of his friends. Even Hyde notices this, as the bassist tries to work on some points for a contract, and is far more distracted than his usual leaderly self allows.
Author's Note: This was a fun one to write-- having Hyde teasing Leader for his crush was just too tempting to pass up. xD As was the Kiss³ reference... Anyways~ I wanted to write a thing focusing on the denial stage (since they did start off as friends first) and then that feeling of love driving you a little crazy. Not the best one I've written, but I think it's fun. It's fluffy! :D

Enjoy~! \(^-^)/ Comments & feedback are love!


It had become a generally accepted fact among those who knew him that Tetsuya got along well with girls.

When asked about it, he would reply with a bright-eyed, grinning face, and cheerfully explain that he was well in touch with his “inner femininity”. This would be followed up with the heavily implicative air of take that however you like, and by the time the asker had fully regained their bearings and opened their mouth to voice how exactly they had taken that, Tetsuya would be bouncing off somewhere, humming, well out of range.

There were plenty of women he considered to be his friends, and he never thought anything more of it. As far as relationships went, Tetsuya was confident in his judgment-- he felt rather strongly that, upon meeting a person, he would just know. He would know if they were meant to be someone important in his life.

However, what consistently remained unclear was what sort of important role that person would serve. Love at first sight was a rarity-- that, he reasoned, was naught but infatuation. Infatuation had certainly gotten him into trouble now, and he was more careful now. For, when those relationships ended, it was rarely an amicable breakup.

There were times when he worried his heart was too bruised to be able to hold love.

He was eternally grateful for his friends. Friends had helped him get through many a hardship, and they quite successfully prevented him from going any more insane than he already was.

Tetsuya was friends with Ayana Sakai for the same reason he was friends with many women, be it chalked up to inner femininity or not-- she liked shopping, he liked shopping. She enjoyed music, he lived music. She appreciated the color pink, and he certainly agreed on that one. They had many similar interests that brought them together-- be them girly or not, that was beside the point-- and that was why they were friends.

Of course he treasured her as a friend. She was his good friend. Yes, that was that.

But then, that wasn't that. It wasn't that at all.

“Tet-chan? Tet-chan.” The bassist blinked with a start at the insistent intonation of his name. Hyde's dark eyes were fixed upon him, and his lips were disappointed in a frown. Tetsuya grinned rather sheepishly, and the vocalist shook his head with a sigh.

“I'm sure you're on a very deep thought there, but you've been staring at the screen without even moving for about five minutes.” Then, his voice dropping to an octave of concern, he added, “Are you okay?”

“Me? Oh yes! I'm fine. I just... zoned out.” Again, the flustered grin. It was one Hyde hadn't really seen before; not quite like that.

“Tet-chan, is there something you'd like to tell me?”

“I think the arrangement's been coming together well,” The bassist replied a little too quickly, a little too contentedly.

Hyde rolled his eyes. “You're not acting yourself, Leader-sama. I'm supposed to be the lazy one.” The faintest of smiles traced across his lips. “Stop trying to take my job.”

Tetsuya smiled, looking relieved. “My apologies, doi-hachiro. I'll get right on it.”

Within a few seconds of this being said, Hyde slouched back in his chair and placed his earbuds in, apparently satisfied with this answer. Once his present company was clearly absorbed in his little world of music, Tetsuya chose that moment to curse, and none too softly.

For those five minutes he could have been working on the contract, he had instead been thinking about how he and Ayana were friends.

--because they weren't friends, not anymore. Sure, she thought they were friends-- at least, he thought she did-- but somewhere along the line, he started looking at her differently than he looked at his friends. He insisted it had to be because she was pretty. There were a lot of pretty girls in the world, no big deal. But then, he spared more than simply that one thought on her. Ayana did some modeling work, so obviously she was pretty enough. She had just the right haircut in just the right shade that fell in just the right way about her face, and it seemed like every time he talked to her she smiled just the right way and said just the right thing and it was horrible.

He insisted it had to be because she was pretty. He was-- he was infatuated. That was it exactly. It was puppy love, an infatuation with a pretty thing, a feeling that didn't amount to anything at all.

But, it wasn't just the fact that she was pretty that led him to think about her far more than he should. After going somewhere with her or even simply talking to her made everything seem a little bit brighter. Their senses of humor overlapped nicely, and most of the time when he heard her laugh, it was in chorus with his own. There was simply something about her that fit with him so well that he was more than a little afraid he had fallen in love with her.

This time, he cursed more loudly and his fist came down a little too hard on the tabletop. He looked up to see Hyde staring at him, wide-eyed.

“I'm sorry, I, um...” Tetsuya mumbled, unable to finish his own thought properly. “'Sorry.”

“Tet-chan, tell me what's wrong.” It was not a kindly inquiry, it was an anxious demand. The vocalist was genuinely concerned.

“I, well...” He pursed his lips, considering a flurry of alibis to explain where his mind had been wandering for so long. “I can't focus.” He finally decided, simply.

“Uh-huh.” Hyde did not believe it for a moment, and Tetsuya hung his head.



“Who are you thinking about?”

Tetsuya blinked rapidly, as he often did when he had to think quickly on his feet. Drawing up nothing but blanks, he relented with a vague truth: “A friend.”

“A girl.” This was not a question, but a definitive statement.

“...A girl, yes.”

“I thought so.” Hyde nodded, not without a hint of triumph in his voice.

“What would make you think that?”

“To distract you from work? She must be awfully pretty.” He said instead, with a smirk.

“That's it-- she's pretty. I-- uh-- she's just pretty, that's all.” Again, he responded just a little too quickly.

“That's all?” Hyde echoed.

“That's why I keep thinking about her. She's just really pretty.”

“Mmm.” The vocalist nodded again, more thoughtfully now. “That's what you've been thinking about.”

“It's nothing.” Tetsuya insisted, rather more to himself than to Hyde, who had clearly already made up his mind on the matter. “Don't take anything from it, it's just... a superficial thing.”

No, it's not... He thought dismally, and then reminded that portion of his subconscious to shut up.

“It's the trap of infatuation, you know.” The bassist said with false decisiveness, placing his fingers once again on his laptop keyboard, to continue with work.

“Hmm...'trap of infatuation'...” Hyde murmured, lost in thought. “That's a good line. I like it.”

Both retreated to their separate worlds of work, though Tetsuya found his thoughts unhappily misdirected once again. So, he forced himself to think about what he was writing--

A list of points for the contract. Manager-san needs this, he'll check it over, and then he'll send it to the agency. Good to have my input, he said, especially now. I ask the band, I write it up, he sends it off. Ah, then what? Then he'll send it to the agency, that's right, that's right. That agency... As if under some unknown influence, he scrolled up to the top of the document, checking the mailing address.

We're in negotiation with them, right. Isn't that where she works? Or, no-- I know I've seen her there sometimes. Perhaps she works there, I can't remember.

Maybe, after this is sent, she'll happen to see it. She'll happen to be passing by the secretary's desk and recognize the name. If not Manager-san's name, then-- the band's name. Or, maybe my name will be on there somewhere. She'll see that and she'll think of me for just a second.

We talked about going shopping this week, since I need some new things for the upcoming lives. I have to call her and see when she's available. Ah, after she sees this, when I call her, maybe she'll smile a little because she had already been thinking of me.

Does she think of me otherwise, at all?

Ah, now he was being ridiculous. He was sure he had never had such an inane thought process in his life. It was rather unsettling.

Satisfied with what he had written, he sent the document to the printer. Just to be nice, he grabbed an envelope on his way there, and he folded the still-warm sheet of paper into thirds, as one would a letter. Suddenly disgusted with his own chronically distracted thought process-- which was on anything but the contents of the document-- he tossed it into the manager's inbox with a huff and rushed out the front door.

--and what if she did see it? Would she think of him at all? Did she ever think of him at all?

That was the first time he had ever seriously considered sealing an envelope with a kiss.


Listening to: "Kaze no Tou" - Creature Creature
明季子 思愛流: hyde hoodiea_deux_vitesses on March 22nd, 2012 06:45 am (UTC)
I think this has been my favourite so far~ Tetsuya is so cute when he's flustered and his thought process towards the end was very cute as well ^^ I also like how you alluded to XXX; I love that line too, and it's a perfect fit to this :)
Marie Ciel: [L'A] tetsuya 3marieciel on March 23rd, 2012 11:09 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you like it! ^^ This one had been one I wasn't so sure of- whether it was really good enough and all. I'm relieved to hear it is appreciated~!

I always find myself grinning when I write flustered!Tetsuya. <3 He's so cute. I thought of him as seeing this crush as a bad thing, like a trap he's fallen into. The allusion to XXX just had to happen, then! :D